Saturday, December 22, 2012

The Untimely Demise of the Gingerbread Man

Ack! Staying on plan around the holidays is always the hardest. Seems like every time I turn around, something yummy is there, just calling to me! Most of the time I am able to resist the temptation. I have this self imposed rule about off-plan eats. I will only indulge if it is something that is truly indulgence-worthy. If it is something that is really out-of-this-world delicious, I have some (a small portion, I might add) without any feelings of guilt or remorse. This keeps me happy and happiness keeps me on track. About a week ago, I had a package of gourmet dark chocolate covered pecans. They were absolutely AMAZING and I relished eating them. Did I feel bad about it afterward? Not at all. They were a gift to me from my employer who can afford gourmet chocolate covered pecans (which I most definitely can not!) and they were phenomenally good. In fact, I believe they were so good that I am probably ruined for any other type of chocolate covered nut, forever.

Today, I arrive at work and lo' and behold - the daughter has brought home-baked gingerbread men cookies. I have never been a big fan of gingerbread cookies but they were cute! I went on about my work day and attempted to ignore the cookies. I am just getting ready to walk out of the door and my employer insists that I take a cookie with me. Now, I could have declined. If he wasn't 91 years old and if it didn't look like it would just make his day for me to take the damn cookie! So.... I took the cookie figuring I could bring it home to my honey at least.

Not my best idea. During my ride home, I can feel this gingerbread man staring at me with his beady little frosting eyes. I feel as if he is trying to communicate with me. Like he is saying "come on, you know you want a bite!" and I am horrified! Noooooo!!!! I do not want a bite! I don't even like gingerbread that much! Finally I stuff him down in my purse figuring that would be the end of that. Nope. I was wrong. I am still thinking about that damn cookie! I have actually convinced myself that I looooooove gingerbread cookies and that it would be perfectly okay for me to have this one.

What!? Noooo!

I decide to dig the cookie out of my purse, car swerving all over the road while I try to reach the passenger floor board where I exiled him to. Finally... I get my hands on it. Yay! I just love gingerbread cookies! I am in the process of unwrapping him when blue lights flash behind me. OMG! I just had 4 points taken off my license in July for speeding. I promised myself, no more speeding tickets! Dammit! Damn this gingerbread man! It's all his fault! (After all, he is a man) Now my insurance is going to go through the roof again! ;_;

Well, as it turns out I wasn't speeding, he thought maybe I had been drinking because of all the swerving. I remember this happened to my sister when she first started to drive but I have never ever been pulled over for swerving. It was embarrassing. I told him I was messing with the radio. Anyhoo, I get back on the road with nothing but a warning ticket (phew!) and have now firmly decided that the gingerbread man and I now have bad blood between us. He has clearly wronged me so I decide to toss him out the window, but not before breaking both his legs! ^_~

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